10 Things only “old people” say and do
Last week my son asked me for the 4th time if he could have ice cream. I said, “will you stop? You sound like a broken record!” He responded, “What’s a broken record?”
I suddenly realized that I’m an “old person”. While I’m only 40, the fact of the matter is that no one under 30 has a clue what a record is. I remember a while back making a remark about the TV show, Fantasy Island. My cousin who’s only 6 years younger than me had no clue what Fantasy Island was. There’s definitely a generation gap in those 6 years. So after asking a few experts (my kids and every other person under 30 that I know) I’ve compiled a list things that only old people say and do.
1. Only old people rant about politics. Also, if you reference Ronald Reagan at any time during your rant, add 10 years.
2. Only old people worry about stupid things like being on time to an appointment. If you want to appear younger, never appear anxious about anything.
3. Ditch the watch.
4. My daughter says that you can tell a woman’s age by her purse. Most younger people don’t carry them at all and old women carry big purses with tons of stuff overflowing out of them.
5. Old people complain a lot on Facebook. They complain about the weather, they complain about the weeds in their yard… laundry…politics. Stop complaining so much! It makes you not only sound old, but also it makes you look like you have too much time on your hands.
6. Underwear lines. It’s time to buy some thong underwear beacuse there is nothing more aging and unattractive than underwear lines.
7. Only old people send out “joke emails” The younger generation texts or Facebooks their friends.
8. Old people carry a big key ring full of discount cards. They have their Kroger card, CVS card, Blockbuster card and every other card dangling from their 16 inch key chain. Simply use your phone number at these stores and quit carrying so much baggage.
9. This one I found funny. Older women wear nicer sandals but don’t get their feet pedicured. I am guilty of this. I will wait a month to get a pedicure but still wear my sandals .
10. I’m not sure how these younger people are affording it but they have nicer phones. If you’re still using that free flip phone or still pulling your box phone out of your trunk, it’s time to upgrade